Respect: how to increase it for a better world

Intro

It’s clear that many people do not have respect for many others

I started thinking about this one day largely due to all the divisiveness around politics. Without respect, conversations are useless in providing any of the good that can come from conversation. Also respect matters more than just a criteria for useful conversation. It matters in how we act towards each other in general, how we feel about each other, and even how we feel about ourselves and the environment in which we live. Respect makes the world a better place to be.

I’d like to look at the question of what are the fundamental requirements for one to be respected by another? Perhaps respect is given on its own or perhaps it’s earned. Or perhaps, it’s some of both. But regardless, if we know why someone has respect from others we can then think about how to achieve more of it.

Criteria for respect

What’s the criteria for someone to have your respect?

Must they be successful? Do they have to be nice to you, or be nice to everyone? Do they have to like you? Or perhaps they have to do good things for the world and not be selfish? What is it that makes someone respectable? For me, I respect someone when I believe this about them:

The person has good intentions, and they act honestly in a manner according to those intentions.

I believe that’s the key component to earning respect… acting on good intentions. If you take the opposite of that, you get evil. Which I define as intentionally causing harm to another for harms sake, typically out of jealousy or revenge. I do believe that this is a slight oversimplification. Strong character certainly helps in being respectable. Being hard working and thoughtful, and being kind and considerate towards others are definitely traits that I find command respect. 

What is NOT needed?

With this requirement, someone doesn’t actually have to do good to be respected. Does that seem off to you? It may at first, but think about it this way… the world is very complicated. Actions have many chain reactions that we can’t always understand fully. In fact we never fully understand. With every well-intended action, there are inconceivably more implications that one has no idea about. Even the original action for intended good could be misled and directly cause harm. We can’t assume people to have a perfect model of the world to know every implication of every action.

Understanding the above, you can’t expect people to always fight for the same causes that you believe in, because people have different rationales for their beliefs and actions. We can definitely argue the rationales, but people on opposing sides are often shooting for the same goal. When someone is trying to make the world a better place, I respect them for that.

Therefor to have my respect, there is no need to:

One must simply act on good intentions. It’s simple, but it’s not easy. It requires you to act, not just think good thoughts. And it requires a strong effort to not fall prey to jealousy and revenge, and then act spitefully on those emotions.

Be the change

Be someone worthy of respect

Let’s make this a goal. For me, for you, for everyone. Be someone worthy of respect to earn respect from others. Have good intentions, and act on them. Don’t be evil. And have good character. Do your best in this, but of course this isn’t an all or nothing thing. It’s impossible to act perfectly on your best intentions. That brings me to a final point.

Respect others, for what you can

See the good in them. Even when you disagree, focus on their good intentions. When they are acting to intentionally harm, understand that we all fail sometimes. Focus on their attempts to be better, and encourage them to be better. Do your best to keep communication channels open. Private and voice-based is best. Public conversations such as on social media make people feel defensive. And any text-based communication is very hard to convey any empathy.

Closing

More respect, better world

We can strive to earn respect from others, making it easier for others to respect us. And we can strive to respect others even when it’s not coming easily. Let’s create a culture where we value and focus on doing good in the world. With this we can improve the human experience for everyone.

Others’ views on respect